


he will not be terrified with any awe

by seraf



Series: fundamentally people [8]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hope's Peak Academy (Dangan Ronpa), Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Anthropology, Bonding, Friendship, Gardens & Gardening, Illnesses, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Incest, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Introspection, Loneliness, Major Illness, Plants, Ultimate Talent Development Plan (Dangan Ronpa), further conversations with the genderless snake goth (snoth) on the roof, uhhhh, unlikely friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-18
Updated: 2019-07-18
Packaged: 2020-07-08 01:38:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19861417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seraf/pseuds/seraf
Summary: " do you ever worry about leaving people in your wake? "the question takes him by surprise.





	he will not be terrified with any awe

it’s the first time he’s ever seen kiyo’s hands bare, is the first thought he has. his fingers are slim and more worn with callouses than he might have thought, given all the time they spent covered in bandages. he has a small shovel in one hand, and seems to be transplanting plants into intricately painted pots. why he’s doing that on the rooftop, at night, kaito couldn’t be sure, but he found himself not actually finding it strange. it was pretty run-of-the-mill, when it came to kiyo.

he sits up, upon noticing him, waving slightly with the spade in his hand, and then returns to his work. kaito sits across from him, breathing in the aromatic smell that came up from the plants he was working with – herbs, then, maybe? ‘ hey, kiyo. what are you doing? ‘

‘ hello, kaito, ‘ he murmurs in reply, fingers delicately smoothing down the soil around the roots at the base of a small sprig of something or another. ‘ an herb with traditional medicinal use, though it can also be used in cooking. i thought the rooftop might be a good place for them to get enough sun without the possibility of being disturbed. ‘

‘ you want any help? ‘ kaito asks, and kiyo pauses in his work to look up at him, tilting his head to the side.

he nods, eventually, handing over a few containers of dirt with the small first-blooms of plants in them. ‘ for these, leave about three inches of space in the jar before setting down the plant, but – don’t firmly pack down the dirt around it when you fill in the rest of the space. leave it . . . light, perhaps. disturbed. ‘ 

‘ what’s this one called? ‘ kaito asks, as he begins to follow kiyo’s instructions, digging into the soil with his hands after sloughing his jacket off and discarding it to the side, rolling up his sleeves. the plant in his hands has fuzzy mint green leaves, broad and pointed.

‘ ah. mullein – it’s a fairly common plant in europe, northern asia and africa, and was introduced to north america and australia with such success that it became classified as a weed there, ' kiyo explains, dark hair beginning to curtain the sides of his face as he bends over his work. ' the name derives from _mollis,_ the latin for 'soft', because of the texture of its leaves. or possibly from _malandrium,_ a disease for cattle that it cured. '

kaito brushes the pad of his thumb over one of the broad leaves – it is almost velvety to the touch, soft hairs giving it a silvery corona. ' you said it appears in old medicine, right? what's it used for? '

' ah, ' he says, and plucks off a slightly bruised leaf, inspects it in the moonlight. ' several different things. while scientifically, it hasn't been studied that thoroughly, it does contain many medicinally beneficial compounds, which may be why it's been picked up as a cure across different cultures and continents. ' he shifts some of the dirt with his thumb, setting the leaf down, and smooths the soil over it absently.

' there are . . . if i remember correctly, anti-inflammatory and demulcent compounds like polysaccharides, saponins, glycosides, iridoids,and some antiviral effects as well, from what lab work _has_ been done. today, it can be used as a home remedy for coughs, asthma, and other lung issues, but historical use of it covers poultices used to treat bruises, hemorrhoids, and tumors, oil used for earaches, smoking it as an aid for asthma, infusions for athletes foot or rashes, topical application for warts, chilblains, and so on, ' kiyo lectures, scooping dirt into one of the pots. ' it also was used to make candle wicks and shoe insoles, and lighting one was associated with witches. '

he withdraws his hand gently, picking dirt out from under his nails. ' though the superstitions there are varied – some believed lighting a _hag's taper,_ as it was called, would ward off witches and sorcery, while other folklore suggested witches themselves used them to practice magic. in the story of odysseus, some translations suggest that mullein was the plant mercury gave odysseus to ward from circe's magic. ' he brushes some of his hair behind one ear, yellow eyes finding kaito. ' – you've read the odyssey, right? '

kaito nods. ' i found my focus drifting in a few parts, but – yeah. funnily enough, it was one of the things that first made me want to be an explorer. when i was like, nine or so, i thought all those adventures were super exciting. ' he rubs the back of his head, not caring that his hands are still smudged with dirt. ' now, though . . . i can't help but think about the people _around_ odysseus, you know? the crews he went through that all died around him, all the suitors he killed, the wife and son he left behind – all those people he just kind of left in his wake. it doesn't seem quite as exciting anymore. '

' do you ever worry about that? '

kaito blinks at kiyo in surprise, but he's bent over his work with one of the last few mullein transplants, dark hair falling in his face and hiding what little of his expression the mask didn't already. unreadable, as his steady hands gently sprinkle soil back in over the small plant.

' worry about what? ' he asks, with a little trepidation, setting down the pot he had been working on in order to look at kiyo intently – even if kiyo won't meet the eye contact, he's giving him his full attention, brows furrowed. fuck, but kiyo could be a hard person to figure out, sometimes.

' leaving people in your wake. ' it's stated softly, with no real rise or fall in inflection, and even kiyo's hands still for a moment, as though he's waiting for kaito's response.

the only problem being is that kaito isn't sure what kind of a response to _give,_ to that.

' what do you mean? ' he asks, eventually, wiping the dirt off of his hands onto his pants and setting the finished transplant over with the rest of the large pots.

kiyo hesitates only for another second longer, before he shakes his head, expression still unreadable. ' . . . never mind. another historical superstition pertaining to mullein is in the _herbarium apuleii platonici,_ when it says that 'if one beareth with him one twig of this wort, he will not be terrified with – '

kaito reaches out, grabs kiyo's wrist where he's continuing to work, and kiyo looks up at him with a bewildered sort of expression, shaking his hair out of his face. kaito's expression is serious, more so than he often seems to be. ' kiyo. what did you mean by that? '

' nothing, ' kiyo repeats, with no real force behind the word, nimbly twisting his wrist in kaito's grasp to slip out of his hand. ' simply . . . a passing thought. '

kaito watches kiyo work for another moment or two before another thought strikes him. ' so – why are you planting it, here and now? i know why, historically, _someone_ might plant it, now, but it still means the question is there of – why are _you_ planting it? '

kiyo hesitates at that, indecision clear in his eyes as he brushes a strand of hair behind one ear. he looks away. ' . . . as i've stated. it serves a number of medicinal purposes. ' and his eyes come back to kaito, and kaito can't help but feel as though kiyo is _searching_ him, looking through him just as much as he is looking _at_ him. ' many of them . . . involved with helping the lungs or more persistent coughs, or acting as an antiviral agent. '

it takes him a few moments.

' oh, ' says kaito, and he numbly sinks his weight back on his haunches some, and kiyo nods, and kiyo looks away from him.

' how did you find out? ' says kaito.

kiyo sighs, and, rather than answering the question, just stands, lifting one of the pots. ' lets move these over here – i think it might be the best place for them. ' even with the mask, looking at the tight grasp he has on the pot, and the grit to his jaw, kaito can sense he isn't going to get any more answers if he pushes right now, so he stands and just helps kiyo move the plants, one by one, precariously over to where he deems is best suited for them.

kiyo walks over to a spigot and turns it on, primly beginning to clean the dirt off of his hands and out from under his nails thoroughly, and kaito corners him there, leaning on the pipe and looking at him. ' kiyo, come on. '

kiyo nods, just looking down at his hands. ' it is . . . simple, really, when it comes down to it. my sister was very sick for a very long time, kaito – i told you as much already. it was . . . easy enough for me to notice the symptoms. ' his eyes flick to kaito and away. ' for . . . some time now. '

' ah, ' kaito says, because what can you really say to that? it's not like kiyo is wrong, and he's not about to question kiyo on his life before hope's peak – it's not his place. ( an indignant little part of him says that it's not kiyo's business to poke into his sickness, either, but he squashes it ruthlessly. wouldn't he be worried, if he noticed one of his friends was sick and not telling anyone? )

a thought suddenly occurs to him, and it makes him blink, looking across the rooftop to the plants kiyo had brought up here. ' . . . are these . . . for me, then? ' there's something hysterical about the situation, a tiny part in the back of his head pipes up – this is the first time anyone's ever gotten him flowers. he crushes that thought as well, shaking his head as though he can physically get rid of it like that.

kiyo almost looks a little . . . embarrassed? as he reaches to turn off the spigot. kaito squints, as though it will clear it up, and – no, it's definitely true, there's a tiny bit of color to kiyo's high cheekbones that there usually isn't. he clears his throat softly, shaking the water off of his hands. ' perhaps it is . . . presumptuous of me. i . . . have never been in a position where i can say this before. but . . . ' he looks away, and then up, at the stars spread above them, just like they'd been the first time kaito met kiyo up here.

when he begins speaking again, he's so quiet that kaito can barely hear him. ' . . . but you are my friend. and i . . . don't – ' it's something he's been doing less often, but as they do when he's distressed, his arms come up, kiyo hugging himself tightly. ' i watched my sister fall ill and let it overtake her. i don't want my _friend_ to go the same way. ' kaito notices the emphasis on the word, like it sits unfamiliar on kiyo's tongue, especially in application to himself. like something foreign. except, he muses, a little ruefully, given kiyo's talent, maybe something foreign might sit _better_ with kiyo.

it's a little sad. and he . . . wants to resent the gesture. he's fine, after all, and kiyo shouldn't be worrying about him. no one should – they've got a plethora of their own problems to deal with, after all. his is barely worse than a cold.

but there's something almost vulnerable in kiyo's expression as he admits why he put them there, so maybe kaito needs to suck it up and accept this help, at the very least. he sighs, and picks up his jacket from where he had taken it off before, slinging it on over one arm. ' . . . so you said it helped with lung issues and coughs and shit like that, right? '

the corners of kiyo's eyes crinkle upwards in what looked like a surprised kind of smile. ' ah! yes. i didn't know the exact diagnosis you have, after all, but i . . . have noticed that to be something you struggle with. there are teas and so on you can use the leaves to make. ' he laughs softly. ' or they can be smoked, actually, to deal with the lung issues. whether or not you choose to do that is – your prerogative, frankly, i would just recommend you not do it around the school. your intent may be read as a bit more . . . hm. rebellious, than medicinal, should you be caught. '

kaito snorts at that. ' duly noted. and in that case, i'll be sure to keep it far away from hagakure, too, in case he thinks he can turn it into some get-rich-quick scheme. '

he _thinks_ kiyo smiles at that, but he can't be sure. there's something still a little troubled in his eyes.

he's rolling up his sleeves and shifting in the direction of the spigot to wash his own hands when one of kiyo's darts out, holds his wrist, in the same fashion he had grabbed them earlier. there's still that same uncertainty in kiyo's eyes as he says ' ah – thank you, kaito. i know . . . especially for you, it must be hard to accept help. ' he lets go of his wrist, cradling himself again. ' . . . especially from me. i know we . . . didn't get off on the right foot, at first. '

kaito winces. _you can say that again._ he'd called kiyo . . . well, a word he didn't feel comfortable even thinking, anymore, now that he actually had gay friends and had _learned_ a little, and kiyo had been summarily cold towards him, coming off as even creepier than before. kaito had dismissed him, and it seems like kiyo was close to feeling the same way.

he's not sure he believed in luck before coming to this academy, but after meeting makoto and nagito and celeste, it's a little harder not to. so he thanks whatever luck there _is_ out there that they've both been changing a little bit. kiyo is undoubtedly strange, but kaito feels glad to be friends with him.

he doesn't really verbalize any of this.

instead, he shrugs, and claps kiyo on the shoulder, making him jump a little – odd, he didn't think it had been that hard. then again, kiyo _was_ a skinny kind of bastard – and grins at him. ' it's no big deal. besides, i should be thanking you. you went outta your way to do this, even with the possibility you weren't gonna get anything out of your effort. i gotta say, kiyo . . . it's kinda brave of you. '

kiyo's head tips to the side thoughtfully. ' that isn't . . . a word commonly used to describe me. ' nonetheless, he sounds a little pleased by the compliment. ' nonetheless – thank you. '

kaito's grin widens, just a bit. ' does this mean you've changed your mind about being my sidekick, then? '

' absolutely not. '

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote the kiyo confronting kaito about his illness scene in monuments but there is literally nothing stopping me from putting it in this verse too so just try and stop me


End file.
